Just breathe.

Haven’t been on tumblr for a while…

I don’t know why but whenever I get on it, I feel bad. Bad about myself, and about almost everything. I know I shouldn’t but I still do. I don’t know how long it’s been since I got on but through all that time, I’ve felt good. Nothing’s made me upset of feel bad. And until I started to get on it. I don’t understand. I’ve been good until now. This morning, i don’t know what happened, I woke up in a good mood and everything. Until i had to choose what to wear. It was 7:22 and usually by then I’m ready. I was still in my sweats. I wasn’t panicking yet, I got jeans out and I was looking for a shirt to wear. and then it hit 7:34 by that time, I’m in the truck leaving the house. I was still in front of my closet looking for something. I got in my anxiety/panic mode. I got in and out of 4 jeans, and I threw everything of my way. My prom dress, my jeans were on my bed and on the floor. I had shirts covering my bed. I mom honked, it was 7:40 she came into my room and told me to hurry up. I told her I didn’t know what to wear. She said you don’t know what to wear? And I said yes, and then I burst into tears. I’ve never felt like that before. She said just throw something on. I honestly did not like when my mom told me that. But I did. On my way to school, she didn’t talk to me. I was mad, upset and everything at the same time. I really didn’t want to come to school, but here I am. Waiting for the bell to ring.

And waiting for Jamal to get done with his test.

I won’t be getting on tumblr anymore. I really hate to say that because I once loved it. It was everything I would ever spend my time on. But now I don’t know. I hope one day I can come back and be the way it used to be. But I can only hope,

I’m always on Twitter and instagram. Those don’t interfere with my well being.

Him ❤

Those nights you spend with your boyfriend. The majority of my spring break was spent with him, and I’m pretty glad about that. Because well, he means absolutely everything to me. And not many couples are fortunate to have that. And it’s not something to take for granted. Me and Jamal are very fortunate to have so much time to spend together. And I’m thankful for that and it makes me be respectful to those long distance relationships. I know I wouldn’t be able to handle that. But I’m very blessed to have Jamal as my boyfriend. He’s a great person, he has an amazing personality. And he is just simply perfect. He’s my best friend, my loser, my creep and my wonderful boyfriend. And everything else. Our relationship, is basically too good to be true. It’s perfect. I couldn’t ask for anything better. We never fight, argue or get mad with each other. It’s perfect. I just want him to be happy, and I would do anything to keep him happy. He makes my days, he makes me happy and smile like never before. I never end my days bad because he knows how to make me feel better. He is understanding, and doesn’t ever make me feel bad about anything. He’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

I love him, and I love him a lot.